Now you know why it is called what it is called

It's just that even though I have nothing to do, I don't want to talk. Asocial? I'm quite sure it's not antisocial. The point is that since I have nothing to do, I am making a list of weird things that have happened recently. (Aiming for at least twelve worthmentioningweirdthings)

1. My mother has taken to Sudoku! Not that it's a bad thing, but the crossword comes on the same page of the newspaper!

2. On Wednesday night I watched a video of a guy tripping on ecstasy! (The fact that I watched the video isn’t weird. The video was weird. Just thought I’d specify.)

3. An amazing, life changing type discovery was also made this week. I have discovered that if I shake my cell phone vigorously, the network becomes full! So whenever I talk on my cell, I keep shaking it intermittently. (Just in case you didn’t know, my cell phone is busted. I wish I could say ‘busted’ with the same air as a CBI official who has cornered a three times escaped convict.)

4. Since Monday I have eaten three mud pies! (There is still one left in the fridge. Maybe I should eat that one and then say ‘Since Monday I have eaten four mud pies’.)

5. Since I have a partially dislocated jaw, I haven’t eaten puchkas in the last two months.

6. I’m just halfway through and already my mind is blank!

7. I’m quite surprised that not more than six worthmentioningweirdthings have happened recently.


WARNING: Henceforth, the list will include weirdthings that have happened. ‘Worthmentioning’ and ‘recently’ have been omitted.

8. People think that I’m loony when I quote F.R.I.E.N.D.S and Garfield sporadically. People think I’m loonier when I say that I adore Garfield. Now, that’s weird.

9. I do the raspberry quite often. It is to a certain extent justified that people think this is weird, after all not many people appreciate being sprayed with saliva, not even in good humour.

10. The fact that Kurt Cobain shot himself with a shotgun is weird! Do those things have some kind of timer which one could start and then go stand in the line of fire and wait for the bang? (Thinking along the lines of the timers in cameras as you must have guessed.) I love Cobain. And he is dead. *sigh*

11. What people can do to grab attention is freaky! If you suggest they imitate Garfield’s ‘I am hungry, give me food’ jig, they would do it.

12. (Finally!) If this post has bored you out of your wits, here is something for you.


Life, friends, is boring. We must not say so.
After all, the sky flashes, the great sea yearns,
we ourselves flash and yearn,
and moreover my mother told me as a boy
(repeatingly) "Ever to confess you're bored
means you have no

Inner Resources." I conclude now I have no
inner resources, because I am heavy bored.
Peoples bore me,
literature bores me, especially great literature,
Henry bores me, with his plights & gripes
as bad as Achilles,

who loves people and valiant art, which bores me.
And the tranquil hills, & gin, look like a drag
and somehow a dog
has taken itself & its tail considerably away
into the mountains or sea or sky, leaving
behind: me, wag.
John Berryman