Toothy Momo

I'm a small eater. Not a tiny eater or a pecker, but a small eater. But when it comes to things that I love eating, momos for example, small just aint small any more. So Nand (yes, Nand as in Nand Gate in Boolean Algebra) challenged me to a momo eating competition (veg, since bird flu is stealing all the chickens. Stoler!) and I gladly accepted.
We made it to Orchid -a dhaba type of place which is why I call it Momo Dhaba- forty-five minutes later than we were supposed to (we're always late). Nand is a cleanliness freak, an obsessive compulsive one. She used her sanitizer (which is supposed to be orange flavoured but smells like a mixture of stale spirit and socks) three times before the momos arrived, making me feel nauseous every time! She cleaned the fork with tissue, moved the salt- pepper shakers to the side of the table using tissue and would not touch the water jug which was too heavy to move using tissue. I just looked and sniggered and rolled my eyes like I do every time.
Anyway, after like ages the momos arrived ( I wonder why I talk of them as if they were people who arrive at our table to get eaten. Like the oysters in The Walrus and the Carpenter by Lewis Carroll) and we went through our first four momos quite uneventfully, huffing and puffing while we gobbled the steaming momos down, declaring the number
we'd finished through mouthfuls of vegetarian momo goo.
It would have been the perfect afternoon had this gone on till we were too stuffed to move and I would have started with my 'degrees of being full' story (which I will write about later). But halfway through the fifth momo Nand, if you would believe it, broke her tooth! Yes, she broke it, well, a part of it. After a lot of shuffling around inside her mouth, she found the piece and looked at it with such dismay that i had to cover up my look of disgust and replace it with one that I hope looked like sympathy. She held up part of tooth which did not remotely look like a tooth or a part of it, just a piece of white nothing which should be flicked away and forgotten about. But Nand cupped her lower jaw with one hand and held part of tooth with the other and ow-ed and moaned and winced till the guy got the bill. I sat there with a horrible picture of a momo with teeth which ate up everything ( like Taz in Looney Toons, except that Taz is cute) and snapped at me when i wanted to eat it playing in my mind! Thats how far our momo eating competition went.
I got home only half as stuffed as i would have liked to be and plonked on the couch to play the flicking game I play quite often with my Tely (it stands for Television by the way, not Telephone or any other Tely you'd thought of). Breaking News on a news channel read 'Shah Rukh Khan wins the bid for Kolkata for 312 crores.' I stared and went on to reread it when it changed to 'Preity Zinta wins the bid for Mohali for 296 crores.' My first reaction was like CITIES ARE BEING AUCTIONED?! And people have bought them?! Stupid I know! The smart ass news channel then changed the Breaking News to ' bla blah blah Kolkata CRICKET TEAM blah blah blah.' So much for the fourth pillar of democracy. I then proceeded to watch Nadal lose to the French Tsonga guy in straight sets and felt very very sad. I really like Nadal. Just a wee bit more than I hate Federer.
So, obviously my next point is FEDERER LOST TODAY! Omfg, it was the best feeling ever! First time i watched him lose in a Grand Slam which is not Roland Garros! It couldn't have been better! Unless of course it was Nadal who beat him. All hail the good Djoko though! Hail good Djoko!

Foot note:
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